With a Heavy Heart

I spent much of the weekend in tears. Even now, when I think about it, my eyes well up, my heart aches, and I can barely contain myself.

It was a typical Saturday morning. I took a brief respite from mommyhood to peek into the adoption forums while Richard played with Isabel. On what I thought was a routine check of Guatadopt, an online forum for those who have adopted or are adopting from Guatemala, I was shocked to read a thread entitled, "Sad News...Condolences." What I read there made me sob. Josi, a young, beautiful Guatemalan girl just weeks away from joining her forever family, had been murdered. Her foster parents, a prominent physician and his wife, and their two children were also killed. An article from a Guatemalan newspaper speculates that a former employee of the couple who was disgruntled over his firing may have been the one to execute the entire family. There was no sign of forced entry. The breakfast bowls were on the table. All of the family members had their throats slashed.

Do I know anyone involved? No. Still, this senseless tragedy has shaken me so that when I think about it now, even days later, I am numb. How could anyone do this? How could anyone devalue humanity so much as to be able to take the life of another and in such a brutal way? Why? Why? Why? Oh, Lord. Why?

Adding to my grief is the sorrow I feel for Josi's adoptive family here in the U.S. Having been through adoption myself, I understand the longing for a child who is miles and miles away under the care of another. I know firsthand the fear over what could happen to the child or to the process as you can only wait and wait and wait. But to have made it this far, over a year into the adoption proceedings with a birth certificate that lists the child as your legal offspring in hand, just weeks away from bringing that child into your home forever, and then, that child, that beautiful, innocent child, tragically killed...and not by accident but by the deliberate and evil act of another. Oh, it is almost too much for me to bear. I cannot imagine the depth of pain felt by this family who just days ago was looking forward to a special and joyous Christmas, their first with Josi at home.

Distraught, I wondered what I could do that could in some way help to ease this family's pain. There are no words to comfort, and any act at all could never, ever erase the suffering. But that's when another adoptive mom came up with an idea. Adoption is expensive, and Josi's family had struggled to gather the funds to pay their lawyer. Just weeks ago, they sent in a final payment of over $12,000, and now, they will never bring their daughter home. Since there is no way to alleviate the pain, why not help the family financially so that with the heavy burden they are already carrying, they do not need to worry about money as well. Please. Give what you can. I know that the family has been lifted up by the outpouring of love they have received since the news broke, but let's go one step further. Let's help this family during one of the darkest hours of their lives, and let's help them in a very tangible way by donating in Josi's memory.

If you go to the family's blog, you will find a "chip in" button on the sidebar. Look around you. See all that you have to be thankful for this holiday season, and then think of all the Azhderian family has lost.

Azhderian Family Blog